Mike Henderson
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Category Archives for Personal Growth

How’s Your Love Life?

WeddingThis summer I will be officiating three weddings.  During premarital counseling, the topic of love always surfaces. Is love simply a feeling, or is it an action — something you do? What does love look like?  I Corinthians 13 gives a pretty good definition.

1.  Love is patient.
2.  Love is kind.
3.  Love does not envy.
4.  Love does not boast and is not proud.
5.  Love is not rude.
6.  Love is not easily angered.
7.  Love does not keep a record of wrongs.
8.  Love always looks for the good.

Sounds like some good stuff to blog about and live out.

So, How’s your love life?

Lost and Found

Lost Found Buttons Shows Losing And FindingA while back I lost my driver’s license.  First time that has ever happened to me.  No big deal, right?  After all, how many times have I had to pull it out and show it to a police officer in the last two decades?  None. Actually the only time I need to pull out my license is when I go up to Skyline Drive. And if I fly I need it. So I was not too worried or in a big hurry to go to DMV.

While driving home I get a call from Dick’s.  Evidently I dropped my license in the store, and it was picked up and put in the safe.  Finally someone figured I could probably use it.  So now I won’t have to ruin a day with a painful visit to the DMV.

When I first lost my license I did not even notice.  It could take weeks or months before I actually realize it is missing.  Life is sometimes like that.  Way too often I hear of another marriage breaking up.  Wonder how long it took the couple to realize they had lost ‘it.’  Wonder if they remember when the wheels started coming off.

Think with me. What things are often lost but never found or recovered.

1. Integrity. You can build it over a lifetime and lose it in an instant.

2. Marriage. Fortunately my driver’s license was found and restored, but if it had not, a replacement could have been  made.  But too often in life things get lost, relationships start heading south, and there is no quick recovery. The pain may last for years and even intensify.

3. Devotion to Christ. Even Christ-followers have been known to lose their first love for their Savior (Revelation 2:4).  Scary.  Because not everything that gets lost gets found.

Check your wallet and make sure you have not lost something important.

Beware of Rabbit-Foot Theology!

iStockRabbitfootWe have all done it. Somewhere in the back of our minds we start thinking that if we do such and such God is then obligated to answer our prayer or come through for us.

In short, if we do our part, then God cannot let us down. Otherwise He will not look so good.

Over the years I have prayed and I have seen unanswered prayers and answered prayers. But some of the most remarkable answers to prayer have occurred when I also fasted.

In fact, I have written in my journal consecutive answers to consecutive fastings. Also, once I prayed and fasted for three days and had three incredible answers to prayer.

So guess what enters my mind if I am not careful?

If I desperately need an answer to prayer all I need to do is fast. In other words, fasting becomes my rabbit foot. Now I am slipping into magic and superstition rather than faith.

And let’s understand. God knows our hearts.

In 1 Samuel there is a story about Rabbit-Foot Theology. It’s found in chapter 4. Israel is at war with the Philistines. Israel was defeated in a battle and lost four thousand men.

Why the defeat? Great question, but they came up with the wrong answer. They went back and got the Ark of the Covenant. That became their rabbit’s foot. After all, if they lost now God would not look so good. And all the press reports that evening would focus on God’s defeat.

But God wants a genuine relationship with us, not a manipulative one.

To be quite honest whenever I fast now I am confronted with this reality. Am I fasting out of a genuine relationship with God or I am thinking that my fasting will force Him to grant my request?

What drives my devotion to God? Do I see Him as a ticket to the better life, whatever that might be?

If I get up at 5am to read my Bible is God obligated to bless me the rest of the day?

If I give up a Sunday morning on the golf course in order to go to church (just an illustration since I teach every Sunday morning), knowing that I can play later, am I expecting God to help me pick up a few extra birdies later on? After all, I sort of earned a little extra favor didn’t I?

Isn’t amazing how easy it is to fall for Rabbit-Foot Theology? None of us are immune to it.

Let’s focus on our heart, and not our rabbit’s foot.

Saying “No” is Crucial

NO Checkbox Selected - Isolated on WhiteAs life moves forward at the speed of light I have found that the natural tendency is to say yes and add, add, and add some more. When football season arrives that has to get added in.  That’s Saturday, Sunday, Monday night, and Thursday night.  Then there is more reading and more meetings and more time developing people.
So my biggest challenge seems to be deciding what to say NO to.  For me it looks like I will have to cut out some of the flow of information; just can’t read as much.  Still sorting it out though.

Then there is the building project. Soon it will be something else.

But I believe deciding what not to do or do less of is going to be a BIG difference maker in my life.

One of the hardest things to say NO to is an idea while reading the Bible. My first thought is often ‘I need to study that passage a little more.’ Before I know it I have said yes and books are piled all over my desk. I must remind myself to say NO and put the books back and stay on task.

Steve Jobs was well known for saying that saying NO was perhaps the biggest secret to Apples’ success.

Now let’s be honest. How many of us really believe that saying NO could be such a key?

The hard part: not doing some good things.  But even Jesus could not do everything.  There were sick people He did not heal and there were people who wanted His time, yet He got in a boat and sailed away.

Be the Bigger Person

David defeats Goliath

GUEST POST

This is a guest post by my 17-year-old son, Gabe Henderson. 
He's in 11th grade and wrote this article for a school assignment.  
His interests include skiing and golf, and he runs a Minecraft server in his spare time.

David defeats GoliathHave you ever wanted to do something big, but all you get are little jobs?  Frustration is understandable.  We love doing the big things because we get more recognition that way.  And of course, we love recognition, so the big, important things are typically what we strive to do.

If you find yourself suffering from a lack of recognition, then you should meet David.
The Israelites had a major problem:  a group called the Philistines who lived nearby.  They were a cruel, barbaric faction that seemed to enjoy attacking them. Eventually, King Saul of Israel took his army out to fight the Philistines, but the Philistines had a secret weapon —  a giant man named Goliath.  Goliath fought the terrified Israelites single-handedly.

King Saul himself was scared, but who wouldn’t be?  Goliath was so terrifying that he could only be described as monstrous.  The reward for killing the giant was great.  So great in fact, that anyone would be after it, right?  Wrong.  Everyone in Saul’s army was afraid after watching many others be defeated by the giant.  It wasn’t just Goliath’s monstrous strength, but his stature.  Goliath stood over nine feet tall, and he wore the best armor that the Philistines could offer.  No Israelite had enough confidence to volunteer…until David came along.

David was not a soldier.  He just took care sheep, all day, every day.  As a shepherd, he spent his days out in fields protecting his sheep from harm and from wild animals.  While that may sound exciting, it wasn’t an everyday thing for sheep to be attacked.  It was more likely that they would wander off, and he would have to retrieve them.

David’s brothers, however, were on the battlefront, where David thought they were fighting for the good of Israel.  Unfortunately, the giant Goliath stopped all progress in that area.  This was unknown to David’s father, who instructed him to take some food rations out to his brothers.  Upon arrival, David heard the shouts of Goliath.  Of course, the shouts were not very friendly.  They were mostly taunts toward Israel, mocking everything from their manhood to God himself.

David was outraged.  It was because of his lowly job of shepherding that David had the confidence to say, “I will stop this giant.  My God and I will do it!”  After all, several times in his career as a shepherd, David was protected by God from animals like lions or bears.  This gave David  the confidence that God would protect him.

That’s exactly what happened.  David went to a stream, and found five, perfect stones.  He took one of the stones, put it into his slingshot, and met Goliath on the battlefield.  Goliath roared with scorn when he saw the puny David approaching.  David took no notice of the taunts, and simply hurled his stone at the giant.  A soft “plunk” was heard, and then Goliath was no longer boasting, but falling.  Falling face forward into the dirt and showing no signs of getting back up.  David had won.

What about you?  Do you feel like God only wants you to do small things that nobody notices?  It just may be that God is using these small jobs to prepare you for something great.  1 Corinthians 10 says “Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  It worked for David, and it’s the best way for you to live your life, too.

Encouragement: Antidote to a Quitter Culture

iStockEncouragementOne of the inevitabilities of life and the ministry is that people will abandon you.  Not everyone will go the distance with you.

The fact is, we live in a quitter culture.  People walk away from their jobs, their spouses, their new year’s resolutions, and their churches.

Near the end of the apostle Paul’s ministry some of his coworkers abandoned him.  That absolutely amazes me.  Just the thought of being able to serve alongside Paul fires me up.  But people left him.  My guess is, based on typical human reasoning, they had “good reasons” for leaving Paul high and dry.  After all, they had “justifiable concerns” of Paul.

Over the years I have followed some pastors with incredible ministries.  Men like Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, Andy Stanley, and Perry Noble.  Their stories are similar.  They have all had good friends and coworkers abandon them, and of course, all left for “good reasons.”  In every case it was the pastor’s fault.

So I’m sure it was the same for the apostle Paul.

Perhaps those who abandoned Paul were concerned that his prison sentence showed that God was not in his minstry.

Whatever their reasoning they left.  But under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit Paul in 2 Timothy 1:16 is asking God to greatly reward Onesiphorus who stood with him and encouraged him while he was lanquishing in prison.  “May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains...”

My guess is you will cross paths with someone this week who has been abandoned by someone.  They are feeling incredible loneliness.

Stay alert and take the time to step in and encourage.  You will be glad you did.  And God may just happen to shine on you, and even your family.

Doesn’t God Care?

iStock_000000456905XSmallWhen I was about three or four years old my mother took all four (four at the time) of the kids with her to the store.  The only problem was that when she left, she left me standing on the sidewalk.

Now that was in the day when you could leave your child alone and he would be perfectly safe.  At any rate, she soon realized that she had left one. Hey, remembering three out of four is not bad, unless you are the one who is left behind.

When she arrived back on the crime scene, there I was crying.  I was so young I do not recall the incident, however I am sure it accounts for some of my behavioral idiosyncrasies today.

Let’s fast forward to adulthood.  We still don’t want to be left behind or left out.  There was a time in Israel’s history when they thought God had forgotten about them.

In fact, the pain was so great that in the 80th Psalm the Psalmist repeated himself three times (verse 3 is repeated times).

Psalm 80:1-3

Please listen, O Shepherd of Israel,
you who lead Joseph’s descendants like a flock.
O God, enthroned above the cherubim,
display your radiant glory
    to Ephraim, Benjamin, and Manasseh.
Show us your mighty power.
Come to rescue us!

Turn us again to yourself, O God.
Make your face shine down upon us.
Only then will we be saved.

The historical context is not certain.

Perhaps Israel is about to be invaded by the Assyrian army, or it may be in the past. Either way Israel was in trouble.  And as human nature is they felt forgotten and abandoned by God.

Well, that is exactly what Israel is praying.  In fact, verse 3 is repeated three times in the Psalm.  Three times!  This is an impassioned plea for God’s attention.

As I stood crying on the sidewalk, I suppose that was my way of saying, “Mom, please turn around and rescue me.”  And when you are in trouble, you will repeatedly ask God to turn around, smile with favor upon you, and rescue you from your trouble.

Yes, you will feel abandoned at times.  But just because you cannot see God does not mean He does not care.  He’ll show up.  Just keep looking.

The Comeback of Starbucks (Part 2)

IMG_1981The story of how Starbucks almost went away, in fact it’s stock price was well below $10 a share, and how it recovered to where it is profitable and how it’s current stock price is at $60, is in one word, fascinating.

This is a great read for any individual or organizational leader to read.  The quotes that I have included will just give you a taste of what’s in the book.  Also, another word that describes the book is hope.  The light had almost gone out at Starbucks.

While my copy is highlighted and dog-eared all over, I have chosen just a few quotes to give you an idea of what’s in the book. In the following quotes I have italicized some key words.

9. “Every time a barista had to tell a customer, ‘Sorry, we’re out of vanilla syrup’ or ‘We didn’t receive our banana shipment so I can’t make your Vivanno,’ the fragile trust between Starbucks and our partners and between Starbucks and our customers fractured.”

10. “Starbucks’ store managers were keys to the company’s transformation.  All the cost cuts and innovation meant nothing unless our baristas understood their personal responsibility to connect with customers…” p. 193

11. “…reinforced how much a barista’s job matters given that he or she quite possibly might serve up the only human connection in a customer’s day.” p. 198

12. “I’ve never embraced traditional advertising for Starbucks…our success had been won with millions of daily interactions.” p. 211

13. “In September 2008, Starbucks had parted ways, somewhat painfully, with our primary advertising agency of four years…”  p. 211

14. “…the more critical the times, the more important it is…to work together in a non-political, non-emotional, fact-focused way.” p. 221

15. “Although I never stopped believing that Starbucks would emerge from the darkness, I was nonetheless experiencing an emotional roller coaster daily.” p. 222

16. “And while I would not want to constantly battle against the odds, the raw feeling of accomplishing something that others did not think possible, or leading people beyond where they thought they could go, is extremely gratifying.” 302

17. “Never expect a silver bullet…Stick to your values…Find truth in trials and lessons in mistakes…Believe.” p. 309

As you read the book you realize that Howard Schultz put himself through a lot.  In other words, he had enough money.  He did not have to go back to Starbucks.  So why did he do it?

“Quite simply, I love this company and the responsibility that goes with it.  Onward…”  p. 311

Onward is a candid and compelling story of a remarkable comeback.  This book is required reading.

The Comeback at Starbucks

IMG_1981Onward was one of my favorite books not long ago. I purchased it as soon as it came out and devoured it within the week. It’s the story of how Starbucks almost went away with a worsening economy and internal troubles.

However, the former CEO, Howard Schultz, came back as CEO and began to once again oversee the day to day operations.

Today Starbucks’ stock price has increased almost ten-fold from its low. It has once again returned to profitability. Since I go there regularly, their story has always intrigued me.

The book is a great read as it covers the decision making, the store closings, and also the elimination of some of its people. On the one hand I’m sure many felt that Schultz went about it the wrong way.  For some it could appear that he was unnecessarily ruthless at times. But Starbucks had lost its way, and someone had to right the ship.  Howard Schultz was the man to do it.

I have included twenty quotes that sort of summarize the decisions, the emotional turmoil, and the process that brought Starbucks back. Rather than include all twenty in one post, I will break it into two posts with several highlights in each post.  These are all the words of Howard Schultz.

1. “There are moments in our lives when we summon the courage to make choices that go against reason, against common sense and the wise counsel of people we trust.” p. 7

2. “What upset me, what felt like a blow to the gut, was the leak.  I could not imagine who would do such a thing.  It was nothing less than betrayal.  In my life I place enormous value on loyalty and trust.” p. 27

3. “Saying good-bye to people when they leave Starbucks never gets easier, even when I think it is the right choice for the company, and especially when I truly respect the individual.” p. 60

4. “Did we have the right people with the right skills in place for everything that needed attention.” p.77

5. “Our coffee and marketing departments went out and conducted their own taste tests to gain a definitive understanding of what many consumers really wanted in lieu of a bold brew–not what we assumed they wanted, which was a weak, inferior coffee.  What we heard, what many people told us, was that they wanted Starbucks to sell a more consistent, balanced brewed coffee.” p. 85

6. “Closing so many stores felt like a defeat, even if it was the right thing to ensure the company’s health.” p. 152

7. “Success is not sustainable if it’s defined by how big you become.  Large numbers that once motivated me–40,000 stores!–are not what matter.  The only number that matters is ‘one.’  One cup.  One customer.  One partner.  One experience at a time.” p. 156

8. “I know people are angry and grieving and I know people are mad.  But I had to make the difficult choice (and consider) the long-term sustainability of the company.” p. 172

Obviously being at the top can be emotionally draining and incredibly challenging.

In my next post I will add some more quotes and lessons from a great comeback.

 

Can Pressure Hurt Your Personal Performance?

IMG_1037The NBA season is winding down and things are getting tense.  The Miami Heat tend to have more pressure than some of the other teams. They supposedly put together a dream team a couple of years ago in hopes of winning a championship.

Fortunately they have been able to win back to back championships the last two years. Prior to those championships, their star player, Lebron James, appeared to struggle at key times, i.e. the end of the game. He has been labeled as a bad closer.  Before he was criticized for not coming up big at the end of games with a clutch, game winning shot or play. Fair or not that was the word in the media.

Now I can’t say for sure, but is it the pressure?  We all play differently under pressure. Michael Jordan loved the pressure and always wanted the ball at the end of a close game.  He typically delivered.

But let’s look at the pressure in our own lives.  Perhaps it’s a job interview.  Some great employees are terrible at interview time.  Why? Does the pressure of getting the job hurt their chances?

What about your child who just had a stellar year on the soccer field. Put them in the tryouts for the next level and they have a bad showing. Is it the pressure to perform?

Is it the constant scrutiny? More than likely it is due to increased performance expectations? As a parent it’s a trap that we can easily fall into. Over the years I have watched parents become visibly upset when their child struck out in baseball, missed a shot in basketball, or missed a kick in soccer. As if our kids needed more pressure.

Pressure. You can’t escape it.  It shows up repeatedly.  And when it does it robs you of joy and takes the fun away from the event.

So what can we do to counteract the downside of pressure?

1. Learn to relax. If you miss the basket, will it matter in ten years. For Lebron it may, but not for you.

2. Lighten up with others including your kids. If will be much more fun and enjoyable. It will definitely make the ride back home more enjoyable.

3. Love the pressure. Be excited that you are the one in the position to score. You got the second interview. You have the ball with three seconds left. Relish the moment and make the most of it.

4. Learn from any failures. No one, absolutely no one is perfect under pressure all the time. Learn from it and move forward.

Be honest, where are you allowing pressure to hurt your personal performance?

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