The ABC’s of Marriage (Part 3)

Dating was so easy, but marriage seems so hard. At least that’s what appears to be the consensus. I continue to hear that marriage is hard work.

I’d have to disagree with that sentiment. What is actually being said is that apologizing is hard. Submitting to the ideas of another is hard. Missing a must-see football game is hard.

Oh!

So in reality if the other person is apologizing, submitting to my wishes, and giving up something for my benefit, then marriage is easy.

However, what appears to be making marriage hard is self-centeredness. Our next five letters attack that selfish mindset head-on.

I – Intimacy. Let’s break this word down as follows: Into-me-you-see. This is all about honesty as we talk about our feelings and heartfelt desires. Guys tend to struggle more with sharing their feelings than women, but healthy marriages are characterized by complete openness and honesty.

J- Joy. Recently I attended a play in Richmond with Carol. Typically, plays don’t make it on my radar–actually to be more accurate, plays never make it on my radar. So does that mean I was in a foul mood all night? Was there no joy because it wasn’t my choice of activities? Not at all. My joy came from being with her the entire evening.

K – Kindness. This alone may be the key to a great marriage. Kind marriages simply do not fall apart. Do something kind today for your spouse. I promise you that it will elevate your marriage. You simply cannot ignore this principle.

L – Love. The verb, not the feeling. This is all about intentional acts. I’ve heard couples say they don’t love each other any more. Amazing! I know they are talking about feelings. But feelings tend to follow action. So what they are really saying is I’ve quit doing intentional things that will lead to a more loving marriage.

M – Manners. So what actually happens when you don’t get your way? Do you pout? Does rudeness raise its ugly head? Do you retaliate in unseen and less obvious ways so you can score a win? That’s not a marriage. That’s a competition. God put a couple together to compliment one another, not to compete against each other.

These five principles tackle self-centeredness head on. These five are doable today. So do them today! That was easy!