20 Principles for a Great Marriage

Recently I’ve come across some popular informational products on the web. Things like How to Get Your Ex Back and How to Pick up a Date After a Failed Marriage.

It just seems to me we should put that kind of effort into our current marriage.

So here is a short list of 20 things.

Obviously as you read the following list you will think of many more.  For instance, Carol likes to sum up the list with just two words: Be Nice.

Those two words are often found in short supply in many marriages. One of my professors used to always reference the old country song line, “You never know what goes on behind closed doors.”  How true that is. Marriage can look so good on the outside, but in reality the relationship is about to crash and burn.

The following list is in no particular order, however, #1 may be the most important.  At any rate, it is huge and I practice it on a regular basis.

1. Talk favorably of your spouse all the time.

2. Once you say I do, you must do.

3. Your spouse comes before your children.

4. If you are keeping a secret, you are not being truthful.

5. Love the one you are with (Success in marriage goes down with each successive marriage. In your first marriage you have a 50% chance of success, your second marriage 33%, your third 25%).

6. Don’t wait until it’s too late to ask for help.

7. You must get away with your spouse.

8. You can destroy trust in your marriage with just one stupid decision.

9. Always work to be who you want to be married to (patient, kind, etc.)

10. Trust can be rebuilt, but it will take lots of intentionality, changes, and time.

11. Do not underestimate the importance of sex.

12. The grass is greener where it is watered more.

13. Your sex life reveals a lot about your marriage.

14. Marriage counseling is cheaper than divorce.

15. Read books on marriage together.

16. Do life together.

17. Losing at love doesn’t have to be.

18. It’s easier to walk out than it is to work on your marriage.

19. Courting will keep your marriage out of court.

20. Summary: Be Nice.